backtrack~ 3/12/05
Dear Diarykinz...
Today is the first cg session of the month and also the first one ever since our one month long break from cg in Nov. With uneasiness and worries of expecting the unexpected, i made my way to xiangcen's house..each steps that i took just seems so heavy and my heart seems to pump faster and faster as the destination drew nearer and nearer..'Gosh, what is going to happen later after e long break? Will i be able to handle whatever that is going to happen?' was what i had been thinking throughout the journey...and to make it worse, i only found out that there is going to be five of us in total for today right on the spot..i was so desperately wanting to find a way out..Having smaller group always gives me feeling that i'll be much more scrutinized on, like every action that i did or if i've met up to expectation blah blah and it also means that i'll have a higher chance of being picked on..
Hmm, why worry what will happen? its not as if my cg members are out to harm me...so what if i know that there is going to be only 5 people? does that mean that i'll find ways not to go for cg? what if i were to make a blunder? but if i don't commit mistakes, how am i going to learn and grow? unbelievable silly thoughts i had...haha..The feeling of fear and unexpectancy can really drive your thinkings haywire! but i must say that e fear of being in a smaller grp and stuff is quite a common prob in most students bahz, especially those suffering from low self-esteem..confidence...
Ok ok, so today's message was abt Passion in serving God. I think this msg was very much for me as i was really kinda 'dried up' recently, thinking abt not going for service and cg and to just 'break off ' like that..can't deny that i'm also getting lazier to go for svc and cg and i'm not reading the words and praying much...horrible horrible..that one month off frm cg really 'dried' me up..just like a typical student on a dec. hols...a slacker in short...and somehow my mind seems to be trying to reject what was being preached,to be on fire for Him...to serve...It was like a raging war for me up there throughout e whole session but i thank God that everything turned out all well...to convince myself to be on fire for Him!
After cg was great. We went to changi side,played bball and had dinner! Kelvin, bro zw and yours truely against xiangcen and steve and of course yours truely team won...pathetically by 1point? haha...play ABC also..and again yours truely won...after taking a long time to get the three pointer in..Hmm, not bad le lahz, considering not playing bball for so long le...Really misses my P6 days of playing bball everyday from morning to evening...We were so crazy about it until the sch bared us from using the court..but we went out to they neighbourhood to continue playing instead..Intially the teachers still taught that we had became so guai to go home and mug until parents came and complaint that we've been spending too much time on bbal...Hahz...
Wanz- sleepy
listening to: Fan yi chen- Chu ci zi wai
Today is the first cg session of the month and also the first one ever since our one month long break from cg in Nov. With uneasiness and worries of expecting the unexpected, i made my way to xiangcen's house..each steps that i took just seems so heavy and my heart seems to pump faster and faster as the destination drew nearer and nearer..'Gosh, what is going to happen later after e long break? Will i be able to handle whatever that is going to happen?' was what i had been thinking throughout the journey...and to make it worse, i only found out that there is going to be five of us in total for today right on the spot..i was so desperately wanting to find a way out..Having smaller group always gives me feeling that i'll be much more scrutinized on, like every action that i did or if i've met up to expectation blah blah and it also means that i'll have a higher chance of being picked on..
Hmm, why worry what will happen? its not as if my cg members are out to harm me...so what if i know that there is going to be only 5 people? does that mean that i'll find ways not to go for cg? what if i were to make a blunder? but if i don't commit mistakes, how am i going to learn and grow? unbelievable silly thoughts i had...haha..The feeling of fear and unexpectancy can really drive your thinkings haywire! but i must say that e fear of being in a smaller grp and stuff is quite a common prob in most students bahz, especially those suffering from low self-esteem..confidence...
Ok ok, so today's message was abt Passion in serving God. I think this msg was very much for me as i was really kinda 'dried up' recently, thinking abt not going for service and cg and to just 'break off ' like that..can't deny that i'm also getting lazier to go for svc and cg and i'm not reading the words and praying much...horrible horrible..that one month off frm cg really 'dried' me up..just like a typical student on a dec. hols...a slacker in short...and somehow my mind seems to be trying to reject what was being preached,to be on fire for Him...to serve...It was like a raging war for me up there throughout e whole session but i thank God that everything turned out all well...to convince myself to be on fire for Him!
After cg was great. We went to changi side,played bball and had dinner! Kelvin, bro zw and yours truely against xiangcen and steve and of course yours truely team won...pathetically by 1point? haha...play ABC also..and again yours truely won...after taking a long time to get the three pointer in..Hmm, not bad le lahz, considering not playing bball for so long le...Really misses my P6 days of playing bball everyday from morning to evening...We were so crazy about it until the sch bared us from using the court..but we went out to they neighbourhood to continue playing instead..Intially the teachers still taught that we had became so guai to go home and mug until parents came and complaint that we've been spending too much time on bbal...Hahz...
Wanz- sleepy
listening to: Fan yi chen- Chu ci zi wai
Labels: Churchy
†-Wanz- actioned & cut at 2:52 am
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