Crosses

Well well, there is no tv for me to watch now...all occupied =( Anyway, I was trying to get into some blog just now and I realised there there is a beta blogger other than the norm blogger. Dunno whats the diff but couldn't check out also because dunno why my blogger webpage appears in chinese words...which is why I hasn't been updating in the past also beside being busy...It really a agony to navigate around lar..Not saying that my chinese is that bad..but it isn't that good to allow me to explore chinese website what more blogger uses fan ti zi...which is something that we aren't taught on..so can read some already not bad le...Aiyz, heck..agar can use and blog now can le..but to whoever ms kind or mr kind out there who knows how to change the webpage back to english, pls let me know k! Danke! =p
After exploring a lil, I decided to change my blog title too..for a change and I like it...kinda short and double meaning...wanz in sanity or wanz insanity! I like play with words and I also that no longer I thingy..which is true, I'm not the I when I started this blog out anymore...so yar..

The old...

The new...

Lol...Right, actually the main purpose of this post is to blog abt some angry stuff..haiz...Gotta let it out.. My control has really been getting bad lately...keep arguing with ppl..whats wrong wanz?

Haiz..ok...so I was talking or rather trying to get information form this guys , Mr X, online the other day...but dunno what wrong..he just couldn't answer me directly and mentioned to just tell my leader directly..and I was like hello? you think I like to ask you? I'm just helping to compile some stuff ok...Really don't make it sound as if I'm bothering you..and pls don't mention to bypass me and just report to my leader..Wah..I hate that man...and pls lar..Read the question properly and think before you ans..ans wrongly still wanna sound as if you're right...Really darn pissed lar...Its that bypass me thingy and wanna report straight to my leader that really got me very cross..I'm ok if you couldn't answer directly to my questions and need me to ask again but pls don't think that you're answering correctly and I'm the one that don't get it so you wanna bypass my stage can..Haiz..wadeva..I told myself that I'll just get over it but somehow after this, I didn't really wanna talk to the guy...online or even when we were out or wat...I just feel so...stepped over liddat..

And that day on sun, when the youths of the Cg went to TCC at citylink after ziwei left, the guys actually went to ask the waiter how much is the gst and service charge...Oh man...i felt so embarassed ok! because TCC itself, as you're know..isn't really a cheap place..and since you all decided to go there, you all should be prepared to pay what..and the gst and service charge at most eating place like this is standard. Gst confirm is 5% and service charge will be 10%...what kinda impression are you all trying to give..? That we can't really afford but still wanna eat there? Even the waiter was caught by the question..Haiz..i dunno..maybe i'm not thinking right...somebody help me...

Then after that Mark kept on mentioning abt Coffee club since he works there part-time and compare it with TCC..Its kinda irritating..since you support Coffee club so much, then don come TCC lar..and stop making comments when the waiter is around serving...Its kinda rude and yes, pai seh...So i couldn't take it and just burted straight to tell Mark that it isn't very nice to make such comments when the TCC's people are serving..afterall, they had done nothing wrong also...and after I said that, everybody kept quite and the atmosphere dropped..Guess they all were kinda shocked bahz...I know I should not be so direct in telling him infront of the others, but I just so feel like telling him straight in the face then...Haiz..gosh

After that, Adrian let Mark try his milkshake and after that he immediately took a tissue and wipe the straw...I saw that and gave him that 'tsk face' and told him straight again that it's ver rude to do that lol...I mean seriously, how would they one that drank feels? Maybe the person may feel embarrassed? And is you offer to let him try one lehz...If you don't like then get another straw lar...Hmm and after that he asked who I kept msging and I just replied straight, ''you don't need to know, its none of ur business.' Haha..ok..I think i'm kinda bad here too...but I think its manner and being sensitive lol...Then irritating him..bluff me jing just walked passed..made my heart skipped a beat and almost stopped..almost believed him..but haha..i'm not tt dumb..she's having paper tmr..she won't be out one lor..somemore just now she came church for the leaders' lesson but it was cancelled so she went home! Dumbo..want bluff me..bleh

And whoohoo..just liddat, I snapped on 2 guys who are older than me..ego issue...Cheerio Wanz! But did i msged them to apologise later on.. Actually, i was msging irwin..but haha..poor guy trying to cheer me up to no avail..Think maybe I just having darn bad mood swing that day...I dunno..I'm really on a lot of mood swings lately..so grouchy too, jing commented when she called. Oh well...haiz..but i just can't control all these mood swings what..If my mood wants to swing..how u ask me to stop? Ask em don't swing mehz? or don't have any feelings ar? Haiya! Irritating...

Now i also not on very good relations with jing also...Its been kinda strained lately...due to the many different principles? point of views? disagreements? Hmm..sidetrack a bit..i think when we human knows each other better..we tend to voice out more differences on issues and there will be more demands..but the supplies isn't always there...but ya anyway, it was still ok on sun morn..but we bickered a lil online at night..just over the issue on being late for sch..haiz..so ya..as i said i was having bad mood..exspecially after the TCC's ecounters..i just ended the convo by giving the excuse that its getting late and we should just go and do our stuff..and after that came no reply..and we didn't talk till even now? She's busy and I don't wanna bother her too..maybe afraid to approach...dunno..dunno if she's cross with me...msged her to encourage her for her paper this morn and all i got was a haha thanks.fullstop. Haiz. I really dunno whats our relation's depth now...Maybe its just me being too sensitive...Oh wells..

Aiyz..Wanz, i think you just got to snap out of ur situation, ur troubles..ur problems..ur xin shi...Its making you having all these mood swings..You got to deal with them asap..and stop going round snapping on ppl...driving away those that cares for you..answering in that irritated tone...looking so indifferent, bo chap...Its stopping you to accept and loving ppl too..you realised?

Oh God, i need my manasseh...! I need You to fill me with Your love, peace, joy and strength again...Help me out of this..

Wanz- all grouchy. all emo
listening t0: my sighing..haiz