I was really touched by Ms Yang's letter and it makes me so guilty. I mean serisously, i'm not as good as she mentioned and in fact, i wasnt really enjoying her lessons or motivated by her to chiong for maths after she took over pretty teacher who went to Cambridge to obtain her degree in econs.

I really wonder what good do i portray? This letter..other teachers' comment...birthday messages, gifts and celebrations specially organised... What did i do to deserve all these? Honestly, i wasnt 100% committed in my studies and also to my cca and my this current Cg and yet people are saying that i'm sucha blessings to have..that i've put in a lot of effort...i helped out a lot and stuff.. So if i'm going to put in my 100%, what would it be? I feel bad, for not giving my all but at the same time, i just feel so limited and not able to give like last time...

I dont understand God.
What did i do to deserve such goodness? and yet,
What did i do to be put through all the 'bads'?

Sometimes, the problem is that too much was done and yet sometimes, the problem is precisely nothing was done. Sigh. What did i do and not do? Life aint simple yea.