Issit true?

I woke up at 12pm today with a shock! Cos i failed to go for training again and was suppose to meet donovon at 1pm at raffles station to go for job training! But i saw a missed call on my phone and i know tt its tt job person..so i called back and guessed wat! Its cancelled today..cos donovon can't work till night cos of cg...I was like...huh?!? Happy yet sad..Happy cos no need go out..too lazy to nowadays..sad cos no work=no money..=( So immedaitely called Don to inform him and i end up standing by the hse phone like a idiot chatting for 1hr? Haha..but it was a good and meaningful chat...=)

Didn't have a proper meal till dinner again cos parents thot that i'll be going out bahz? Wadeva...But dad gave me a $50! Yay! but sadly..its still not enought to cover my tithe, hp bill and building fund...Haiz..Money will you drop down from heaven? Haha..Wanz, better get off ur butt and go work! Spent the rest of the day at home alone! I like =) watch some tv...caught goong..played chu liu xiang....and time just slipped past liddat..kinda wasteful i know...but ya..too lazy for other things...Wanted to play bball..but only got me and Don..how to play? Haha..but neh mind..already arranged with the Cg ppl tt we'll play tmr! Whoohoo...

Listening to a emo song now so some unknow ppl's blog..Its call Valentine...been finding this song for very long! Any kind soul who has it, pls send me! Danke! So ya..emo song, got me thinking again..actually i'm quite bothered today....Cos Donovon told me that God spoke to him during svc abt me! I dunno..but he said God told him, "tell wanli to stay, and stay in the sci stream."
Hmm...and my first qns to Don was, " Really? But why He tell you and don't tell me?" and Don said..he feels that God most prolly spoke to me but just that i wasn't listening and missed it? And after that, i cracked my brain and think of all possibilities of situation or encounter that happened or may happened that that speaking thingy may had happened but just that i don't realised..but i can't recall any! Haiz...so right now..i'm really thinking if what Don said is true..I dunno.. and i was reminded of sth kelssis wrote abt us fearing or doubting abt what is spoken when God really spoke..and so there's where our faith will act, to follow or not to...haha..and i think..if He really spoke..i think ya..I'll most prolly got scared and freaked out..haha..but maybe its really that He spoke, but i din catch so He used Donovon to tell me? Haiz..i really dunno..i need more enlightenment now...

Just spoke to luan luan abt this..haha...and she just say it sound ambiguous to her? but she added that if its really true..then God will open door for me to stay lor...different church, different thinkings bahz..but ya...anyway, God din tell Don specifically which combi of sci stream! I was thinking if really can stay..its either i take back my bio, chem and maths or change to chem, maths econs...so its the battle between bio and econs! Bio a subject that i used to love v much but not any longer cos i can't do well in it and this lvl...u may say its passion gone, u may says its not enough hard work..but wadeva it is..i din do well in it and i lost confident to score in it anymore. Fullstop. Econs,a subject that i took for only 2months? Didn't really like it cos my logic always seems different from the rest, and i so can't imagine myself writing essay on it and its a wholey new subject if i'm to choose it..Haiz..you tell me...you tell me how to decide?

Tmr's Cg..got bs with sabrina also...Haiz..anyday of battle to click it with God...I really hope i could...going to cg and svc now has been getting more and more mundane to me...Oh man...I'm in a valley to high to be climbed out...in a valley to dry that i'm dying spiritually...so tiring to try and grasp those dried grains of sand and try to keep my hold and climb on up..i feel that i'm slipping down instead...I need it to rain soon and fast!
Speaking of this, i was telling Don that actually ya..maybe like what ziwei says, i'm too distracted so can't click...but recently, i've been trying to focus..and i think i concentrate too much on concentrating to focus that i can't flow also! So i guess can't be both extreme bahz..and everytime after using so much energy to concentrate..i end up being very tired when it comes to the Word part and i can't receive much..if not, i'll be dozing in and out during worship or tongues praying...Argh..i'm really so helpless and bothered by all these! I can't seem to get them right! and again, i so feel like stopping and not walk in this race with God..so far to reach...

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams
I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

wanz- confused.lost.jaded
lisetning to: my Valentine