Lost for words...

Tonight, i thought of updating my blog, catching up on the past and lost entries but i couldn't...
Too much thoughts ars holding me back...
Too much things are weighing me down...
My heart feels heavy...
My mind is in a mess...
The songs playing aren't helping much at all...
The stuff I dig out to read just pulled everything down...
As i stared at this screen...reading...typing away...
Tears welled up...
My vision blurred...
And all came pouring down...
I wanna wailed out loud...
But my throat is kinda stucked...
No sound came out...
This is one of the lonely silent night again...
When my mood dipped...
When my heart ache...
I can't express myself anymore...
I dunno what to say...
I don't wanna talk...especially to God...
It just make me feels like a fool talking to thin air...
You ask me to I not sense Him...?
No I don't...except in church or cell...
Wadeva...